“All is fair in Love and War”

Love isn’t a definable emotion it will always be a different concept to all.

However if you were to type into Google “Definition of Love” you would find.

  1. A strong feeling of affection.
  2. A great interest and pleasure in something.

I find these definitions utterly underwhelming and quite frankly not even remotely close to putting words to a feeling. So further research led me to the next top hit in Google. The Urban Dictionary, in hopes of retrieving a “real world” view on the matter. The top definition provided.


Nature’s way of tricking people into reproducing”.

Have we really become so cynical!?

If you were to ask a dear friend of mine, she could riff off the top of her head a 29 word piece of art comparing love to tumultuous tectonic plates.

You could ask myself and I wouldn’t be able to tell you without taking a few minutes to write it down, then I’d be able to tell you that; Love is the overwhelming and unconditional emotion we project upon those we hold most dear.

The point being we will all have a certain way in which we view what love is, how it should be or what type of love we have. Usually based upon what we’ve experienced and the love we’ve felt over time (or lack of love). I’m most definitely not writing a general post about love and what it means. I’m inspired to write this piece based upon the writing of Paulo Coelho “The Pilgrimage”, the passage reads.

“Of all the ways we have found to hurt ourselves, the worst has been through love. We are always suffering because of someone who doesn’t love us, or someone who has left us, or someone who won’t leave us. If we are alone, it is because no one wants us; if we are married, we transform marriage into slavery.”

Which begs the question. What have we turned Love into?

This is by no means a new concept, and it is something that we’ve created. Through our complex emotional human systems we have managed to take the pure concept of Love and transform it into this tyrant of complexities; a truly disturbing view of Love.

With this in mind think about the way in which many are conveying their personal stories of love (you need not look very far, merely open your social media feed and I’m sure you can find an example).

  1. We may fight, argue and disagree but I’ll always love you.
  2. You annoy me so much, you’re a pain in the neck, you give me a headache BUT I still love you.
  3. At times we hate each other, but I still love you.
  4. Love is hard.
  5. Love will hurt you.

Love itself does not consist of any of these things, and by no means belongs within its definition. We as humans have managed to transform one of the most powerful human experiences into something that hurts us, restricts us, causes us to believe that we’re trapped and essentially become slaves to one another. All because over time we have associated and correlated different feelings and obligations to love.

Love has never been and never will be related to any negative connotations that you’ve created. Two (or more; depending on your lifestyle) individuals, with their own dreams, aspirations and goals coming together to experience this life is all it takes. Individual journeys, but both willing to dart between paths with each other. Once you understand that Love will never restrict you like maybe it has been or has done we can redefine what we’ve already managed to distort. “Love accepts its companion unconditionally and allows each to grow in his or her own way. Love is an act of faith in another person, not an act of surrender” –Paulo Coelho

6 thoughts on ““All is fair in Love and War”

  1. I agree that society as turned love into an almost unbearable thing. You ask most people of our generation and they will groan or tell you their worst experiences with love. Rarely do people have great things to say about love. And the ones that do have either found love or can see the truth in the pain. See it’s because love hurts so much I think people forget how good it feels. I disagree that “Love isn’t an act of Surrender”. To me you have to give up part of yourself, lifestyle or even dreams because of love. If you don’t give up or surrender anything how much do you really love?

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Many love thanks it didn’t surprise me with Google but everything is solvable
        There are also others like Bing and Co, I thank you very much and wish you also many successes with your great vocabulary
        Thankyou!!!!! (*L*)

        Liked by 1 person

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